In this post: Life-as-a-writer update & tales from the white savior crypt.

Last week: My burn-out and how I knew I needed to quit teaching.

Next week: Reasons CRT should be a central focus in all of education, and why people need to get over themselves.

Oh hey y’all,

A year ago, I wrote a book about what it was like being a high school teacher in a minority-majority school. At this place, the school to prison pipeline was more literal than metaphorical concept, and I saw white adults doing horrific things to Black minors. And then that first, violent wave of covid hit. I quit my job as a high school teacher with the adamant belief that I simply knew too much to be able to continue, in good conscience. Despite how much I loved teaching, and how freaking good I am at communicating with teenagers. 

It was a painful decision that I told myself I was making so that I could pursue what I really wanted, above all else: writing. But there was another, more important reason why I walked away from teaching (after thousands of dollars in utterly bullshit certification courses and trash ed classes) and years of my life pursuing it: mental health. 

I just couldn’t physically handle the burn-out anymore; despite a permanent daily dosage of prilosec, I was plagued with ulcers and heart burn. I carried all my stress in my shoulders and neck, which constantly ached. But more than that, I was exhausted. All of the time. Add that to my pre-existing anxiety, depression, and trauma-shit, and you have a dangerous recipe for lifelong misery (that I might add, my academic friends are a little too willing to embrace as a badge of honor). 

The great teacher walkout that is going on, that I am invariably a part of, is sapping the education system of its greatest and most precious resource: teachers that give a fuck. 

I also knew I had to quit teaching to say what I needed to say about the education system and the bad-faith actors masquerading as white saviors within it. So, I spent a year writing that book and building back up my freelance writing and editing clients. Then, I spent 6 months working on the book proposal for said book, in the commercial publishing industry (of which I knew very little about, and damn that industry comes with a steep learning curve). I kept writing this here newsletter, and I kept hustling. After much blood sweat and tears, I finally queried a 140 page nonfiction proposal to about 20 agents who represent authors that were similar to what I am doing. And then I waited.

And waited. My virtual inbox grew literal cobwebs and started smelling like an abandoned basement room. Apart from a few nibbles, I heard nothing back. Obviously, I had missed the mark. I mean I knew my book about racism in a corrupt charter school in an urban neighborhood during a time when the whole world is crumbling around us would be a hard sell to anyone but the most committed of indie publishers. What I did not know was that my humble following (y’all) was no where near big enough for any agent to take me seriously as a nonfiction author capable of bringing a ready-made and massive audience to buy that book. Woof, the struggle is real y’all. 

But nevertheless, I know that what I have to say, and how I say it, is important. That it is beyond time to start calling out the atrocious behavior of white saviors in education, especially if we are ever going to make Black lives matter. It’s all fun and games to be empowered with a mission until you realize you have to re-do about two years worth of writing and try all over again. But nevertheless, I shall persist…

And now, you guessed it, it’s time to REVISE … THAT… BOOK… (AGAIN)!!!

And in a rather insane decision that I hope pays off, I’ve decided to fictionalize my nonfiction story because, well, sometimes the truth can only be hinted at through fiction. So for the past week, I’ve been immersing myself in the ratchet-ass legacy of white saviors in education. 

All of this to say, in a rather round about way, that I’ll be using NSFS to experiment a bit with story-telling and truth-telling with stories about the U.S. education system. I genuinely believe that when the U.S. falls, it will be because of its divestment from public education, which is (say it with me now), a direct result of a fierce allegiance to white supremacy. 

AND SPEAKING OF WHITE SUPREMACY FOOLISHNESS…

I’m chuffed to introduce a new section to NSFS:

Tales from the White Savior Crypt: Real-Life White Horror

The What: WSJ’s op-ed from July 25, 2022: “A Teacher Triumphs Over the Woke Educational Establishment: Ramona Bessinger will be back in the classroom this fall.” By GWM of da week James Freeman.

I already know based on the publication name and the use of the word “woke” that I was not going to like the fact that whoever Ramona Bessinger was is back in front of minors. Since I am deep in character-studies for that book re-write, I use my father’s WSJ login (plz I’m not paying for that trash) to read whatever the f this dude (shown below) wrote.

Look at him. He just looks like he’s permanently constipated, and his beady little eyes suggest his hateful racism is a result of either a perceived or imagined micropenis*

*Note: I can and will body shame men and reduce them to their sexual organs in ad hominem attacks until women have the right to decide what happens to their own bodies. Also, please see this caveat to ad hominem attacks that is truly the only vibe to embody these days.

ANYWAY, this GWM writes in a tone that can only be described as a shit-eating grin:

“At last some good news from U.S. public education, thanks to one tough teacher who refused to accept the poisonous ideology now enforced in so many classrooms. Regular readers of this column will be especially cheered to read the latest dispatch from Ramona Bessinger.”

::rolls up my sleeves::

This bitch Ramona is then quoted as stating: 

“a new Critical Race curriculum in the Providence Rhode Island, middle school where I taught was creating racial hostility, turning students and staff against me because I was white and turning their students against their country.”

Oh reaaaalllly, bitch. My next move is to google whatever ratchet-ass person is behind these words, because I already have a pretty clear picture of what kind of teacher she is-- because I worked alongside more than one of her kind. They’re a dime a dozen in minority-majority schools. 

::takes off hoops::

Also, look at dis generic-ass white woman, she looks like Draco Malfoy’s trashy-ass sister. Are you kidding me? Sweet baby jesus this white lady’s had so much botox and filler they look like a badly done knock-off version of Ann Coulter meets Octomom. 

::throws the first punch::

Listen, don’t get me wrong, I’m a feminist, I’m not attacking this woman because of her appearance. I’m attacking her because she’s racist and hateful and no amount of bad botox can cover that shit up.

Women like her are doing real, lasting damage to Black futures. 

As THIS GWW continues: 

“My students, almost all of whom were minority, started calling me “America” because I was white-- You are America, they would say, we are not. How could I keep silent seeing what the Critical Race curriculum was doing to the students and our society?”

Lolol I bet those kids were funny af, oh to have been a fly on the wall in the room when a room full of teenagers absolutely read this woman for filth. And besides, they are right… she is America. Unfortunately for all of us. #BelieveStudents

She then says as a result of this “rAcIsM of CRT”:

“I was forced to spend a year alone in a windowless empty school basement resource room..”

To quote Justin Timberlake’s sexist song: cry me a river. She had a taste of her own medicine, because that’s exactly the fate I know she’s been sending Black kids to for her entire teaching career: YA GOT DETENTION, IF YA CAN’T DO THE TIME, DON’T DO THE CRIME, LADY. 

I’m not even going to go on about the absurd amount of time BIPOC students spend in rooms for an ISS (In School Suspension). Nor will I drop horrific statistics that show how the more time students spend in detention the more likely they are to drop out altogether. I’ll say nothing of the missed classroom learning time that happens as a result of racist-ass teachers like Ms. Ramona here sending Black kids to detention. And she’s got the damn nerve to complain about being “prosecuted against” because some Black kids teased her by calling her “America.”

For-Fucks-Sake-Y’all.

Silver lining: what a lucious, lucious villain for a book that I happen to be writing. 

Until next week folks, keep it real and remember: Botox is not FDA approved to treat white supremacy delusions