On Leaving Academia and Failing (over and over)

January 27, 2021 Allison Harbin

On Leaving Academia and Failing (over and over)

In this post: I get real about the jobs I tried to get in my transition to alt-ac and Post-PhD. Let's talk about the jobs I tried to get, how little I was paid, ad what I learned from that experience.
Next week: What does it mean to unite praxis with practice as a radical academic? I answer this question through Shuttleworth fellow Chris Hartgerink's plan to Liberate Science
Last week: I review former academic turned novelist Amy Gentry's latest thriller "Bad Habits" and its reminder of the crucial role of imagination.

When I first left academia, I was a mess. Granted, my exodus was the result of my work being stolen by a professor, which I then proceeded to publish an account of on Post-PhD, but still. If I’m being completely honest, at least half of my existential despair of leaving academia was really about my identity as a scholar and the passion I held for what I was trained over an excruciating seven years to do.

I felt an insane amount of guilt for not bouncing back, to my competitive and highly driven nature this signaled that I was a failure. Of course, with time and lots of therapy, I now realize this failure was not my own, but rather merely a side effect of the application of supply-side economics in education. I still struggle with that inner voice who tells me I haven’t done enough, been savvy enough, and am still a failure. But, I mean, really who doesn’t from time to time?

I’ve also failed a lot over these past four years. So much failure. Within the first year of leaving academia, I went on 18 different job interviews, the majority of which resulted in a second round. But from that second round interview, I received zero offers. Woof.

Four years out, I’ve learned a thing or two. For starters, I’ve learned that a proper transition takes time. As in years. But in between that, you still live your life. This means you have a lot of time to examine your life, what you want out of it, and then begin to plan how to go after it. Importantly, I learned that while hindsight is 20-20, its particular emphasis on what should have been, makes it a waste of time; it only makes you bitter.

My first job out, I was a temp receptionist with a PhD, which was way better than being unemployed with a PhD. I was also thrilled when I landed that job three months after leaving-- it paid better than other temp admin jobs I was interviewing for, and it was a relatively easy job meaning I could write during it. In fact, many of the early posts for Post-PhD were written from a desk in a glossy corporate lobby.

My life does not remotely look like what I thought it would be 5 years ago, nor does it look like what I thought it should: a stable 9 to 5 job. I was desperate for stability after living that adjunct life, and for me, that meant a traditional job. But, I was miserable in those jobs.

Now, what I am not is miserable. I cobble together a life from developmental editing gigs, my favorite (strangely enough) is working with academics to get essays ready for peer-review. It satisfies my inner professor and I get to read really interesting essays from a variety of fields that I otherwise would not have known anything about. Not too shabby. I also get a fair amount of my income from writing cover letters and resumes (go figure).

See this donate button in the original post

I do miss classroom teaching, but am glad I did not return to the high school classroom this fall because it gave me the freedom to write-- honestly-- about what I experienced during my time as an urban high school teacher.

I am very much still in the process of transitioning, but every day I get a little bit closer to solidifying the life I want for myself, which is to write and think for a living. I’m sure I’ll return to high school at some point, if only because I love teenagers. But for now, I’m writing a book the way I want and learning how to pitch articles et al. For the first time since before I left academia, I know my future is bright.

So, for all of you struggling with despair, feelings of failure, and loss, on top of having no idea what to do next, hang in there. Be patient with yourself and the process. Some things cannot be rushed, those things are usually worth the wait.

Here are the jobs I have had with a Ph.D. in Art History in four short years:

-Temp receptionist at a large corporate law firm in Midtown at $20/hr (6 months)

-Tour guide through the Metropolitan Museum of Art for a fun little company called Shady Lady Tours ($150 a tour, only on weekends, about a year)

-Freelance copywriter for marketing, case studies, etc. I had to learn so much to start this up, but a lot of the marketing copy tricks I learned made me a better writer, but that’s the topic of a different post (rates varied, 3 years)

-Freelance academic editor (since forever, but officially 4 years, I charge $95 but have a sliding scale so I can work with interesting scholars who I desperately want to see remain in academia)

-Adjunct professor at Bronx Community College (1 year, $5,000 per course per semester, which broken down is about $600 a month)

-Substitute teacher for the NYC DOE (1 year, I don’t even want to talk about how little I got paid, but I will say being a temp receptionist paid better)

-ELA teacher for a shitty ass charter school that I was ashamed to work for (6 months, I made 67k per year with 8 years of experience teaching and a PhD, which was literally the most money I’ve ever made, but still about 10k under my market value in public education.)

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Allison Harbin, PhD

On Leaving Academia and Failing (over and over)

On Leaving Academia and Failing (over and over)

Related posts about my somewhat dramatic exodus from toxic academia: