Toxic mold ate my NYC apartment, a diatribe on deregulation & neoliberal ideology writ large.

In this post: Toxic mold ate my NYC apartment, a diatribe on deregulation/ neoliberal ideology writ large/ how this directly relates to public education in the U.S.

Last week: NSFS shines the work of a white dude, Bo Burnham, so this one's for all those GWM looking for semi-positive role models <3

Next week: Today, I talk about Soraya Chemalay's writing on the power of women's anger and continue my slumlord saga.

Sorry, I’m late on posts; this was gonna be a clever welcome to the new year post, but since it's really just 2020-part 2, I figure, halfway through January will have to do. That, and, this time (at least), I have a good excuse.

oh hey y'all.

I don't know about you, but I spent my new year's in Queens at a friend's apartment, after we all took rapid tests. Rather than mirth, we discussed NYC housing inequity, neoliberal de-regulation, and the legacy of de Blasio et al; all of us wondering if we were ever going to really retire, much less ever afford to buy a dismal studio apartment. Quiet resignation, rather than drunken holidaze, was the vibe for our little party of four.

Forgive my wax poetic, but I've been re-watching SATC and dealing with a 7th month-long active water leak in our bathroom and bedroom ceiling that sprouted, just in time for 2020-2, a thriving colony of black mold. Talk about NYC bullshit. As a hardened sea witch transplant to Brooklyn for the past decade or so, this was not my first experience with a badly patched plumbing leak and the consequences of long-term damp drywall.

Back in the sunnier days of 2021, my dope girlfriend and I moved in together (to our excitement and level-up to our obnoxious love-bird status), but our living arrangements soon grew toxic. And I'm not talking about our relationship here.

One week after moving in, we found a literal bubble of water just chilling between the drywall and the latex paint. And pooling, under the baseboards of an entire wall: chalky water. I texted our super a video of this impromptu water balloon.

no worries, I'll send a guy tomorrow, he said (read: $).

At the time, I chose to believe our super when he said there was no need to replace the soaked drywall: all they needed to do was leave a gaping hole in our bathroom ceiling for ‘a few weeks’ (read: 2 months) to "air things out.”

This great farse played out with the dumb blows of Kafka's sardonic wit: this whole time we both knew that in order to really fix it, or perhaps I should say, "fancy fix it," would be to hire a licensed mold remediation team (read: $$$). And that could only take place after updating the plumbing of at least four apartments directly above ours in the building in order to bring the building's 1920 plumbing up to city code (read: $$$).

Nevertheless, the mold colony persisted like the violent genocide of Christopher Columbus

Flashforward to… the 5th day of Christmas 2021 (Dec 27)

our v. NYC super with a jewel-encrusted chain of our lord and savior Jesus Christ appeared before our door with a sheepish-bordering-on-scared look on his face. It's hard to be mad at Diamond Jesus, so I say nothing as I point down the hall, to our bedroom closet.
Jesus Chain refuses to meet me in the eyes because he knew that I knew, that we both knew, we had already had this same damn conversation back in June. Who is your father, diamond Jesus? I wondered. This is when I asked to speak to his manager, whom I envision was wearing a matching diamond God chain necklace, having just exchanged expensive gifts to each other with all that money they shoulda spent on a plumber (naturally).

You know when the odds are stacked against you when your rent-stabilized apartment, which you’ve been dreaming of having your whole NYC life, is owned by one of the top 5 slumlords in NYC (no, it’s not owned by Jared Kushner, which would have made this post even more poignant, but def in the same world as Kushner’s slum estate). Regardless, by the 12th day of Christmas (January 5), I would have bought myself the Christmas present of striking fear into the hearts of Jimmy, my slumlord. 

But before I tell you exactly how I made both this enormous man who loves diamond Jesus and his boss ‘jimmy’ afraid of me, lemme pivot this rant to education:

But now, you may be wondering, wtf does this have to do with racism in education?! As my people (red necks) say, “HOLD M’BEER AND WATCH THIS”:

On neoliberal deregulation of rent regulation

The Plan:  yo, these landlords here are cray with these rent prices, what if we stepped in and set some caps on rent, and give landlords the resources they need (tax breaks) to make sure their rent stays low?

Execution of said plan by (mostly) mediocre white men: deregulation over the past thirty years saw to the dismantling of the government agency responsible for making sure that landlords like, did what they’re supposed to do. The effect? Slumlords. 

Don’t get it twisted, this is also racist: please see: why the Bronx burned).

IRL Example: “How Rudy Giuliani Helped NYC Landlords Get a Tax Break No Strings Attached,” Propublica: May 20, 2016.

This is not unlike our country’s approach to secondary education. In the 1980s, faced with mounting pressure and an adamant belief in the “trickle-down” effect, the government looked for ways to cut funding to the country’s “failing” public schools (read: schools in urban, overwhelmingly minority communities with not enough funding, not enough love, and way too many white teachers, petty school board and city council politicians on power trips).

Source: Trickle-Down Cuts to Education, a Report by the Center for American Progress and Education Reform Now, 2016. 

Further reading: https://www.zinnedproject.org/materials/ghosts-in-the-schoolyard/ 

How do we turn these schools around, the amorphous mediocre white people of America wondered. I know! Let’s hand it over entirely to the mediocre white people! Definitely don’t let minority-majority schools be run by, well, minorities. They are what’s wrong and in need of fixing (please note: by that, I mean the exact opposite- the problem is white supremacy).  They believe(d): Government regulation is what is ‘killing’ America’s schools (this is still widely believed, please see: the rapid growth of toxic mold-like spread of charter schools across this country). Smh.

Further reading: “The Price of Disaster”: The Charter School Authorization Process in Post-Katrina New Orleans

“Charter schools don’t improve education outcomes. But they do funnel taxpayer money into the pockets of unscrupulous — often criminal — school operators. It’s a national disgrace that needs to end.” -Elites Profit From “Nonprofit” Charter Schools: an interview with Carol Burris

On neoliberal deregulation of public education:

The plan: yo, I guess if we want a functioning democracy, we should like, educate the citizens and shit. We’ll make it free and taxpayer-funded

Execution of said plan by (mostly) mediocre white men: Fuck everyone else but my kids, says white ppl everywhere, and fuck taxes. Let’s divest public education gradually over 30 years, so by the time it becomes privatized, there is absolutely no infrastructure to hold charter schools accountable for education standards. 

End result of both: SAME

Who’s to blame? In my case, mediocre white men. Naturally. 

Stay tuned for next week’s Neoliberaldon’t Part II: What Soraya Chemaly taught me about the power of women’s rage / why I should have gotten fired from that charter school I taught at (but didn’t)

(hint: same reason my landlord and super are now terrified of my karening)

What I’m reading: 

Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America by Ijeoma Oluo

Quote to take to the bank:

“White men lead our ineffective government with almost guaranteed reelection. They lead our corrupt and violent criminal justice system with little risk of facing justice themselves. And they run our increasingly polarized and misinforming media, winning awards for perpetuating the idea that things run best when white men are in charge. This is not a stroke of male luck; this is how our white male supremacist systems have been designed to work." -Ijeoma Oluo, Mediocre: The Dangerous Legacy of White Male America

Similar Posts about Neoliberal Trashfires:

NSFS: Not Safe for School, your snark-filled antidote to racism and corruption in education. Follow @postphdtheblog on Twitter and @allisonharbin_postphd on Instagram