NSFS: Not Safe for School, your snark-filled antidote to racism and corruption in education. Follow @postphdtheblog on Twitter and @allisonharbin_postphd on Instagram

Hi. I’m literally so emotional right now.

Dear friends and fam,

As I drove two of my former students to visit UAlbany two weeks ago, we spent most of the car ride talking about their classes and their view of their teachers. To be fair, I asked. And in the effort of full disclosure, I’ll admit I wanted the gossip of it all. What did they really think of Mr. Smith’s teaching? Why did they call Ms. Cohen “fake?” Could they give me an example? It was during this ride that I discovered a weirdo skill set I’ve developed: getting information out of teenagers.

There’s an art form to getting relevant information out of a teenager, I’ve discovered. It’s a combination of asking lots of follow-up questions, reminding them to be specific, and then just sitting back and letting them ramble. Once they get going on a topic they really wanna tell you about, that’s where you get these nuggets of wisdom from their weird adolescent brains.

I’ve made it a point to stay in touch with as many of my former students I want to, opting to let them follow me on insta or reach out via text or email with a question. Most of the time, I communicate with them via text. Now that I’m also no longer their teacher, I’ve been able to have some amazing text threads turned into phone calls with them and their parents about their experience at that morally destitute charter school and their subsequent experience at a giant public school during a pandemic. This information has been eye-opening.

Right before lockdown last year, it was announced that our charter school had been shut down by the state, for reasons so numerous and lurid, I’m basically writing an entire book about it. The students, of course, were completely and utterly devastated. The late announcement of the shutdown meant that there was no time for them to transfer into another smaller-sized charter school and that instead, they would be re-routed into whatever giant-ass public school their zip code dictated.

I looked at the standardized test scores of the public school, and then our school’s scores, which trailed behind that of the three thousand people public school a handful of my students were destined for.

On faulty data and not nearly enough information, I comforted them by appealing to their logical side. Their new school’s test scores were better, which meant that they would most likely be getting a better education in the classrooms. I hyped this up, leaning on what I was rapidly discovering about how charter schools ‘fake’ their students’ test scores and exactly how many of the teachers at our charter had a graduate degree (only 22% compared to 67% of teachers at one of the Jersey City public schools).

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These numbers told a story, or perhaps, I made them tell a story. Yes, there would be more gangs, bullies, and lunchroom anarchy at their giant public schools. I could not refute their points about that, but I could at least imply they would receive a slightly better education.

Was I knowingly lying? Not exactly, after all, my experience working at a New York City public school was far superior to everything that I saw and experienced across the charter school terrain. Did I know I was hyping them up for something that would prove to be the exact opposite of what those numbers pointed to? No.

As I’ve discovered in no uncertain terms just how dirty charter school operations are, and how much their fancy marketing departments lie to Black and brown families, the first-hand experiences of my students take precedence over all of this research.

We need to take what students say seriously. Especially because the way I thought this text thread was going to go last night, ended up taking a sharp Uturn that made me question everything I “knew” to be true about the differences between charter and public schools.

Last night, one of my charter school students texted me:

JW: Hi. I’m literally so emotional right now.

What a topic sentence. Of course I’m already invested by the end of the second sentence. Literally. (I love teenagers because they feel ALL THE FEELS) This is not an uncommon refrain to get from my students, the past year has been incredibly stressful for each and every one of them, and I feel grateful they reached out to me when they needed someone to listen.

Me: Awww what’s going on??

JW: It’s just school and stuff. Like I really try my best but it’s just so frustrating.

Me: Yeah, I know you do. Tbh school is a shit show right now for everyone. I wish teachers would at least be honest with y’all about that.

JW: It just sucks to think, or even know, that grades matter ALL THE TIME. Like, I just can’t seem to be anything other than angry that doing good in school matters besides everything else in life, right?!

Me: For sure, unfortunately, yes

JW: Like I know I’m not the dumbest person on this planet, but it’s just some things I don’t understand.

Me: I know what you mean. I bet it feels like teachers are changing their minds about what matters, and you have to do all this new bullshit every other week. They’re changing the rules on y’all left and right and it’s horrible.

JW: It’s super frustrating. I feel like my grades are dictating my whole life purpose.

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Me: Yeah. Well, they do. But.

Me: Just get the fuck out of high school, learn whaty ou can, and re-invent yourself at a community college. Because from a community college, you just need one semester of grades to transfer and they never look at your high school transcript again.

JW: School sucks man.

Me: Truly.

JW: Thanks for chatting with me. I really needed to get this off my chest! Also public schools are SOOOOOO ANNOYING.

Me: Uggghh I bet, how’re they different? I’m fascinated by your perspective tbh

(and here is where the wisdom of da youths come in, get ready)

JW: First off, public schools really don’t try enough with students TO ME, & everything just seems so discombobulated. From being in public schools all my life and then going to [our charter school] definitely changed me academically. When I was going to [Charter school] I felt how some teachers there REALLY wanted to help me. Which just encouraged me to do better honestly. Don’t get me wrong, yes public schools offer help but it just still seems not to really help me in a way.

Public schools literally chew you up, and spit you out. The only thing they’re good for is freaking character development. Changing you as a person and throwing you back into the real world. Without knowing a damn thing! Chile please!

Me: Yeaaah, I hear that. That fucking sucks.

JW: I don’t know, maybe it’s just me but public schools can be really hard to focus in. Going to a charter school once out of my whole life definitely helped my focus more but hey…

Me: That’s wild, but it does make sense. I think the smaller sized school here is key too, makes it harder to dehumanize the students.

JW: Right?! The size of a high school does play a major role in the learning experience.

Me: Yeah, the public school I taught at in Harlem was like 400 students and it was great– the principal knew all the students, students roamed into her office for snack and candy, pretty ideal looking back on it.

JW: !!

What did I take away from this? That JW is having a hard time wading through all the bullshit of public education in an attempt to get a college degree. I learned that school size matters to the students. I also learned that, yet again, standardized test scores don’t mean shit, but the experiences of my students do.

Until next week,

Reparations Opportunity for the Melanin-Deficient:

The New York City student-led activist group Teens Take Charge has been doing some amazing work for years. If you want to learn more about what it’s like to be a BIPOC student in urban education, they’re a great place to start.

And hey, they also accept donations.

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Texts with ex-students, nuance, and how school data lies